solipsism

It's a fun word, and this helped me deal with some psychotic shit.
Happy Halloween a couple months early. I want to do this one with a tweaker face, and maybe just run off the stage when I finish like I've actually just lost my shit. :D


if we are all one consciousness
experiencing itself
some of that
“everything is just energy”
moving at different vibrations
light shining on light
imagining itself in the reflections
if that’s the case
let me offer you
shit
let me talk to myself
about this hippie trip thinking
if we’re all one consciousness
perhaps we’re part of some greater being
or maybe we’re all on the same level
energy, light, green goo, whatever
we’re all equal and we’re all one
that sounds nicer to me
(which means it sounds better to you)
since we’re all one
and that
explains why I can hear you

see, maybe I’m more evolved
if we’re all one being
maybe evolution represents
our becoming more self-aware
as we recognize more of what we are
we evolve and get smarter
people are smarter than germs
maybe
I’m just more evolved than ya’ll
smarter than ya’ll
because I am tapping
into some higher-level shit
I can hear you in my head
maybe not you, or all of you
but I can hear you
even when I plug my ears
I checked
if we are not all one
either I’ve got really good hearing
or I’m hearing shit that ain’t there

I don’t like that
so I - we - are going with the one consciousness thing
because I have no other explanation
for why I can still hear you whispering
just barely loud enough to hear
if I stick my fingers in my ears
all the girls I ever wanted
are screaming on my neighbors’ dick
laughing they’d never fuck me
the emergency room doctors
are informing me my sisters didn’t make it
the doctors upstairs need to tell me
the test results are positive
I don’t have long to live
the people I walk past
judge me when I float by
they’re laughing, I know
at everything about me
snickering under their breath
some are calling security
I really shouldn’t be here
besides, probably half of you
are cracking up
because my ex girlfriend
fucked you too
she liked to scream
that you were better
now you know who she’s talking about
you’re telling your buddy about it
it’s fucking funny, isn’t it?
I can hear you laughing about it
I just can’t turn fast enough
to catch you
in a way, it’s funny
I shouldn’t be pissed
we’re all the same
so you’re laughing at yourself
she cheated on me with me
it’s all in how you look at it
fuck; sex is just jacking off
you pleasuring yourself
and me - haha!

thing is
Sartre said, “Hell is other people”
all of you
I can’t deal with the implications of that
I am burning inside
with knowledge and self-loathing
like a beautiful latte
of oil and crow’s blood
I dream of lighting beacons on rooftops
to signal lightning strikes
to light the same fire in you

If you are hell, though
I am hell too
all of this heat and agony
inside of me makes sense
and
since we are all one
you’re all burning
with the same fire
the same latte
the same dream
it’s all so clear now
all the world’s problems
are mine
my problems are yours
prejudice, bigotry, hate
it’s my self - loathing
all the lie cheat beg rape murder steal
beat abuse curse hatefuck kill
that’s you and me and everyone
we’re all in this together
you have the same dream
let’s do this
if I am you and you I
you want this as badly as I do
you might not know it yet
I’m more evolved
you haven’t heard what I’ve heard
I can help you
--I can burn all this down.

we can torch our way through
to the other side
to find ourselves
trust me, I’ve heard it
I haven’t seen it
not yet
but I can feel it
I can dream it
I can hear it
you’ve gotta hear this
I have a dream
I can help you
I can
I promise
I can help us
I can help me
I can burn all this down
--I’m going to get some matches