Refugee

At the start of break, I spent two days in DC - on the bus ride down, in between naps, I looked at the road and felt inspired. After a cigarette and copious vomiting, I spit out a bunch of random couplets and passed back out. Today, on the way to Hidden Valley, a way to put most of 'em together popped into my head - I don't know if its any good, or if they make sense as a song, but put with a verse I wrote sitting with Probes during Thanksgiving, it's something that came out hella fast, and I want to type it up.



Refugee (for lack of anything else right now)
I'm just another refugee from a small town
Hiding my fears and worries behind the tears of a clown
Fought my way out so I wouldn't stay and drown
Now I just run for refuge and seek solace in the sound

Walking and riding and watching and waiting
for a truth that may never come
knowing the burning of delicious
that you share with only some
screaming open at the road and howling by the trucks
trying to leave behidn the inner doubt that pulls and sucks
the pile of repeated occasions and meaningless fucks
there's no one waiting for me at the end of this tunnel
my days keep dripping down a dark funnel
there's no one waiting in any place I'd call home
so I just draw silent strength in the feeling of stone
wrap myself in the cold confidence of being alone
and let myself slide into the sound

chorus

as I ride i'm reminded of the beauty in dead quiet trees
parked cars and peaceful life, smoky breeze
one that whips out over the fields
so I push aside the jokes that make up my shield
let the cold take me back to another life
to times when I thought I had a wife
to all the things I ran and left behind
they hang like streamers in the caverns of my mind
and I'm reminded of all those who've been my favorite girl
we'd lie with arms curled together at the top of the world
but time flies fast and those things are in the past
and that's okay
with my head up I make my way
striding forward I still bare all trying to fing my best
and let my smile wrap around the sutured holes in my chest

chorus

whoops - gotta run, I'll finish it later